The Vampire Diaries: The Struggle Chapter Thirteen

Elena stirred, then opened heavy eyehats. Light was showing around the edges of the curtains. She instal it hard to move, so she lay in that respect on her bed and label to piece to pick offher what had happened last night.Damon. Damon had come after here and threatened Margaret. And so Elena had g unrivaled to him. Hed won. tho why hadnt he finished it? Elena lifted a languid hand to providedt the side of her write out, al sound outy humping what she would find. Yes, there they were 2 sm unscathed punctures that were tender and sensitive to pres confident(predicate).Yet she was muted alive. Hed disclose short of assumeing out his promise. Why?Her memories of the last hours were confused and blurry. Only fragments were clear. Damons look looking d consume at her, filling her whole knowledge base. The sharp insect bite at her throat. And, later, Damon opening his shirt, Damons blood thoroughlying from a sm wholly cut in his neck.Hed made her drink his blood then. I fmade was the right word. She didnt remember roveting up any resistance or encountering any revulsion. By then, she had cute it. plainly she wasnt dead, or even seriously weakened. He hadnt made her into a vampire. And that was what she couldnt understand.He has no morals and no conscience, she re passed herself. So it certainly wasnt benevolence that stopped him. He probably serene wants to draw the game out, attract you suffer more before he kills you. Or maybe he wants you to be like Vickie, with unrivaled foot in the shadow world and one in the light. Going slowly mad that direction.One involvement was sure she wouldnt be fooled into mooting it was kindness on his part. Damon wasnt capable of kindness. Or of caring for anybody but himself.Pushing the blankets back, she rose from the bed. She could hear Aunt Judith locomote around in the hallway. It was Monday morning and she had to get ready to go to school. honorable Diary,Its no good pretending Im non frightened, because I am. Tomorrows Thanksgiving, and Founders Day is two days after that. And I still bafflent figured out a way to stop Caroline and Tyler.I dont know what to do. If I cant get my diary back from Caroline, shes going to read it in front of everyone. Shell eat up a perfect opportunity shes one of the three seniors chosen to read poetry during the closing ceremonies. Chosen by the school board, of which Tylers father is a member, I might add. I wonder what hell think when this is all oer?But what difference does it make? Unless I can come up with a fancy, when this is all everywhere Ill be beyond caring. And Stefan impart be gone, run out of town by the good citizens of Fells Church. Or dead, if he doesnt get just to the highest degree of his Powers back. And if he dies, Ill die to a fault. Its that simple.Which means I halt to find a way to get the diary. I arouse to.But I cant.I know, youre waiting for me to say it. in that respect is a way to get my diary Damons way. every(prenominal) I need to do is touch to his price.But you dont understand how much that frightens me. Not just because Damon frightens me, but because Im aquaphobic of what willing happen if he and I are together again. Im panic-stricken of what will happen to me and to me and Stefan.I cant talk nearly this any more. Its too upsetting. I feel so confused and lost and alone. Theres nobody I can turn to or talk to. Nobody who could possibly understand.What am I going to do?November 28, Thursday, 1130p.m.Dear Diary,Things ascertainm clearer today, maybe because Ive come to a decision. Its a decision that terrifies me, but its relegate than the lone(prenominal) alternative I can thinkof.Im going to check Stefan every issue.Its the only thing I can do now. Founders Day is Saturday and I havent come up with any plan of my own. But maybe Stefan can, if he realizes how desperate the mail service is. Im going over to spend the day at the boarding theatre of operations to morrow, and when I get there Im going to tell him everything I should have told him in the first place. all(prenominal)thing. About Damon, too.Oh, Im scared. My stomach is churning. I could barely touch Thanksgiving dinner and I cant prolong still I feel as if I might fly apart into a gazillion pieces. Go to sleep tonight? Ha.Please let Stefan understand. Please let him forgive me.The funniest thing is, I wanted to become a better person for him. I wanted to be worthy of his honey. Stefan has these ideas almost honor, about whats right and untimely. And now, when he finds out how Ive been lying to him, what will he think of me? Will he believe me, that I was only trying to nurse him? Will he ever trust me again?Tomorrow Ill know. Oh, God, I wish it were already over. I dont know how Ill live until then.Elena slipped out of the domicile without telling Aunt Judith where she was going. She was tired of lies, but she didnt want to face the trouble there would inevitably be if she said she was going to Stefans. Ever since Damon had come to dinner, Aunt Judith had been talking about him, throwing subtle and not-so-subtle hints into every conversation. And Robert was or so as bad. Elena sometimes fantasy he egged Aunt Judith on.She leaned on the doorbell of the boarding manse wearily. Where was Mrs. Flowers these days? When the door finally opened, Stefan was behind it.He was get get dressed for outdoors, his jacket collar turned up. I thought we could go for a walk, he said.No. Elena was firm. She couldnt manage a real smile for him, so she stopped trying. She said, Lets go upstairs, Stefan, all right? Theres something we need to talk about.He looked at her a moment in surprise. Something must have shown in her face, for his expression gradually stilled and darkened. He took a deep breath and nodded. Without a word, he turned and led the way to his room.The trunks and dressers and bookcases had long since been put back into order, of course. But Elena matt-up as if she was really noticing this for the first time. For some reason, she thought of the very first night shed been here, when Stefan had saved her from Tylers disgusting embrace. Her look ran over the objects on the dresser the fifteenth century gold florins, the ivory-hiked dagger, the junior-grade iron coffer with the hinged lid. Shed tested to open that the first night and hed slammed the lid down.She turned. Stefan was standing by the window, outlined by the rectangle of gray and dismal sky. Every day this week had been chilly and misty, and this was no exception. Stefans expression mirrored the run outside.Well, he said quietly, what do we need to talk about?There was one last moment of choice, and then Elena committed herself. She stretched out a hand to the small iron coffer and opened it.Inside, a aloofness of apricot silk shone with muted luster. Her hair ribbon. It reminded her of summer, ofAbout this, she said.He had dashn a step forward when she touched the coffer, but now he looked confuse and impress. Aboutthat ?Yes. Because I knew it was there, Stefan. I found it a long time ago, one day when you left the room for a few minutes. I dont know why I had to know what was in there, but I couldnt religious service it. So I found the ribbon. And then She stopped and braced herself. consequently I wrote about it in my diary.Stefan was looking more and more bewildered, as if this was not at all what hed been expecting. Elena groped for the right words.I wrote about it because I thought it was evidence that youd cared about me all along, enough to pick it up and keep it. I neer thought it could be evidence of anything else. consequently, suddenly, she was communicate quickly. She told him about taking her diary to fairishs house, about how it had been stolen. She told him about getting the notes, about realizing that Caroline was the one who was sending them. And then, turning away, back offing the summer-colored silk over and ove r through her nervous fingers, she told him about Caroline and Tylers plan.Her voice almost gave out at the end. Ive been so frightened since then, she whispered, her eyeball still on the ribbon. panicky that youd be angry with me. Scared of what theyre going to do. Just scared. I tried to get the diary back, Stefan, I even went to Carolines house. But she has it too well hidden. And Ive thought and thought, but I cant think of any way of stop her from reading it. At last she looked up at him. Im sorry.You should be he said, startling her with his vehemence. She matte up the blood drain from her face. But Stefan was going on. You should be sorry for keeping something like that from me when I could have helped you. Elena, why didnt you justtell me?Because its all my fault. And I had a dream She tried to describe how he had looked in the dreams, the bitterness, the accusation in his eyes. I think I would die if you really looked at me that way, she concluded miserably.But Stefans expression as he looked at her now was a combination of relief and wonder. So thats it, he said, almost in a whisper himself. Thats whats been both(prenominal)ering you.Elena opened her mouth, but he was still speaking. I knew something was wrong, I knew you were holding something back. But I thought He shook his head and a skewed smile tugged at his lips. It doesnt be now. I didnt want to invade your privacy. I didnt even want to ask. And all the time you were worried about protectingme. Elenas tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. The words seemed to be stuck, too. Theres more, she thought, but she couldnt say it, not when Stefans eyes looked like that, not when his whole face was alight that way.When you said we needed to talk today, I thought youd changed your mind about me, he said exactly, without self-pity. And I wouldnt have hellish you. But instead He shook his head again. Elena, he said.It felt so good to be there, so right. She hadnt even realized how wrong thing s had been between them until now, when the wrongness had disappeared.This was what she remembered, what she had felt that first glorious night when Stefan had held her. All the sweetness and tenderness in the world surging between them. She was home, where she belonged. Where she would forever belong.Everything else was forgotten.As she had in the beginning, Elena felt as if she could almost read Stefans thoughts. They were connected, a part of all(prenominal) other. Their hearts beat to the same rhythm.Only one thing was needed to make it complete. Elena knew that, and she tossed her hair back, reaching from behind to pull it away from the side of her neck. And this time Stefan did not protest or baby her. Instead of refusal he was radiating a deep acceptance and a deep need.Feelings of love, of delight, of appreciation overwhelmed her and with incredulous joy she realized the feelings were his. For a moment, she perceive herself through his eyes, and sensed how much he cared for her. It might have been frightening if she had not had the same depth of feeling to give back to him.She felt no pain as his teeth pierced her neck. And it didnt even fall to her that she had unthinkingly offered him the unmarked side even though the wounds Damon had left were vulcanized already.She clung to him when he tried to lift his head. He was adamant, though, and at last she had to let him do it. Still holding her, he groped over onto the dresser for the awful ivory-handled blade and with one quick motion he let his own blood flow.When Elenas knees grew weak, he sat her on the bed. And then they just held each other, unaware of time or anything else. Elena felt that only she and Stefan existed.I love you, he said softly.At first Elena, in her pleasant haze, simply accepted the words. Then, with a chill of sweetness, she realized what hed said.Heloved her. Shed known it all along, but he had never said it before.I love you, Stefan, she whispered back. She was surpri sed when he shifted and pulled away slightly, until she saw what he was doing. Reaching inside his sweater, he drew out the chain he had worn around his neck ever since she had known him. On the chain was a gold ring, very well crafted, set with lapis lazuli.Katherines ring. As Elena matched, he took the chain off and unclasped it, removing the delicate meretricious band.When Katherine died, he said, I thought I could never love anyone else. plane though I knew she would have wanted me to, I was sure it could never happen. But I was wrong. He hesitated a moment and then went on.I kept the ring because it was a image of her. So I could keep her in my heart. But now Id like it to be a symbol of something else. Again he hesitated, seeming almost afraid to meet her eyes. Considering theand then gave up, his eyes meeting hers mutely.Elena couldnt speak. She couldnt even breathe. But Stefan misinterpreted her silence. The hope in his eyes died and he turned away.Youre right, he said. Its all impossible. There are just too many difficulties because of me. Because of what I am. Nobody like you should be secure to someone like me. I shouldnt even have suggested it Stefan said Elena. Stefan, if youll be quiet a moment so just forget I said anything Stefan she said. Stefan,look at me. Slowly, he obeyed, turning back. He looked into her eyes, and the bitter repentance faded from his face, to be replaced by a look that made her recur her breath again. Then, still slowly, he took the hand she was holding out. Deliberately, as they both watched, he slipped the ring onto her finger.It fit as if it had been made for her. The gold glinted luxuriously in the light, and the lapis shone a deep vibrant blue like a clear lake surrounded by untouched snow.Well have to keep it a secret for a while, she said, hearing the tremor in her voice.Aunt Judith will have a fit if she knows Im engaged before I graduate. But Ill be eighteen next summer, and then she cant stop us.El ena, are you sure this is what you want? It wont be easy living with me. Ill always be diverse from you, no matter how I try. If you ever want to change your mindAs long as you love me, Ill never change my mind.He took her in his arms again, and peace and contentment enfolded her. But there was still one fear that gnawed at the edges of her consciousness.Stefan, about tomorrow if Caroline and Tyler carry out their plan, it wont matter if I change my mind or not.Then well just have to make sure they cant carry it out. If Bonnie and Meredith will help me, I think I can find a way to get the diary from Caroline. But even if I cant, Im not going to run. I wont leave you, Elena Im going to hinderance and fight.But theyll price you. Stefan, I cant stand that.And I cant leave you. Thats settled. Let me worry about the rest of it Ill find a way. And if I dont well, no matter what Ill stay with you. Well be together.Well be together, Elena repeated, and rested her head on his shoulder, h appy to stop thinking for a while and justbe.Dear Diary,Its late but I couldnt sleep. I dont seem to need as much sleep as I used to.Well, tomorrows the day.We talked to Bonnie and Meredith tonight. Stefans plan is simplicity itself. The thing is, no matter where Caroline has hidden the diary, she has to bring it out tomorrow to take it with her. But our readings are the last thing on the agenda, and she has to be in the parade and everything first. Shell have to stash the diary somewhere during that time. So if we watch her from the minute she leaves her house until she gets up on stage, we should be able to see where she puts it down. And since she doesnt even know were suspicious, she wont be on guard.Thats when we get it.The reason the plan will work is because everyone in the program will be in period dress. Mrs. Grimesby, the librarian, will help us put on our nineteenth century clothes before the parade, and we cant be have on or carrying anything thats not part of the costu me. No purses, no backpacks. No diaries Caroline will have to leave it behind at some point.Were taking turns watching her. Bonnie is going to wait outside her house and see what Carolines carrying when she leaves. Ill watch her when she gets dressed at Mrs. Grimesbys house. Then, while the parade is going on, Stefan and Meredith will break into the house or the Forbes car, if thats where it is and do their stuff.I dont see how it can fail. And I cant tell you how much better I feel. Its so good just to be able to share this problem with Stefan. Ive learned my lesson Ill never keep things from him again.Im wearing my ring tomorrow. If Mrs. Grimesby asks me about it, Ill tell her its even older than 19th century, its from metempsychosis Italy. Id like to see her face when I say that.Id better try to get some sleep now. I hope I dont dream.